Tuesday, May 24, 2011

CICADAS!!!

Okay, I know that I am probably the ten thousandth person to blog about cicadas, but I just HAVE TO! They are everywhere. They are loud. They have scary looking eyes. They are the size of a small mouse. With wings. And sadly, I am only exaggerating a little.

Last week, one landed on my neck.

On Friday, one came in my classroom and terrorized my student.

Yesterday, one got stuck in my roommate's hair.

Today, one hit me in the forehead.

I mean, can they not see that I am not a tree?!? What good are their scary eyes, after all???
This is excessive! It makes me want to wear a helmet with a face shield on it.

What if I happen to yawn and one flies right in?

What if one accidentally wedges itself in my ear? Or my nose?

I CAN'T HANDLE THIS UNCERTAINTY!
I wonder if it is possible to stay inside or fully covered for the next 3-4 weeks?

You might think I am overreacting to these harmless insects, but it brings back too many memories of 8th grade. Picture with me, if you will...

I was in middle school (bangs, perm, the works) and unfortunately it was the year of the cicadas. But I didn't remember this from before, I would have been 1 after all. I didn't have a clue what to expect. A loud noise? I can handle that. A few extra bugs? I will stay inside.
Oh no, it isn't that easy to avoid.
We had to go outside to get from one building to the next, and of course before and after school where there were many trees and undisturbed ground. One day, as I was walking out, arms full, backpack on, they swarmed me! It was like they had formed a coup and I couldn't have avoided it!
They were on my backpack, in my hair (remember, perm and bangs here), they were on my clothes, EVERYWHERE!!! Little did I know, this would be life for the next 2 months...
Another day, walking across campus, hadn't been hit yet when the boys decide to shake the trees! Who decided that middle school boys should be let out of the house during the year of the cicadas?!? Once again, attacked! Like Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds, but with cicadas!
And then, just when I thought it was safe to venture outdoors again, they have all died. YAY, you might think, but no. Gross is a more appropriate word because every step is a *CRUNCH*. The remains are EVERYWHERE!!!

Okay, back to 2011. These memories still haunt me. I know what comes next. And I WILL wrap my shoes is plastic bags, don't doubt it!

But for now I will stay inside and watch these little devils fly around outside my window.

Next time I see you guys, I will be forty!
I don't know which part of that sentence is scarier!!! Yikes!

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